Torture of Hope


Recently I watched a talk show where an actress told the host she had struggled with a role in a drama. Being a young actress, she told the director that she doesn’t know how to portray the character of a lovelorn woman. The director told her some stories “because you don’t have to have cancer to portray a cancer patient”.

Years ago, I watched a Chinese drama about the “torture of hope”. It means that the guy doesn’t reject the girl directly, but instead kept saying that “maybe the time isn’t right” or excuses along that line.

And despite my persistence to stay single, unfortunately, I’ve been put in this position recently… for work.

I’ve always wondered what adults really mean when they say that they are “busy”. Do you not have any time to sleep, to have your meal, to blink, to check your phone at all? Or is it more of a state of mind or simply your attitude towards something or someone that doesn’t matter?

I’m the kind of person who can be okay with rejection. But at least have the decency to reject me. If there’s no seat left, just tell me the truth. If there’s a seat left but you think I’m not worth it, just say no. It’s better than leaving me hanging there wondering if my mail got lost in the process or that “maybe you are going to get back to me someday”.

Simply put it, don’t leave me hanging there.

I’m sure you’d have the time to reply others. So why not me? Or give me a specific timeline?

As a human being, sure, I’d be upset with rejection. But hey, at least I know that that route doesn’t work. So I can move on. And you would have “gotten rid of me” instead of giving me the torture of hope by constantly replying that “yeah, we’re handling the project over soon” when nothing is in sight at all.


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