For my new year resolutions this year, I promised myself to focus on the good and positive things in life and let the upsetting moments go. That sounds easy but it’s extremely difficult for me sometimes.
Since Christmas last year, I’ve been getting back in touch with my primary school tuition teacher and finally getting the chance to thank her for all that she has done for my two elder brothers and I.
Growing up in a Chinese family, my English was pretty bad, and to make it worse, I disliked the language and had problems mastering it.
I’m sure many kids my age would remember a certain green grammar assessment book filled with tiny words and chapters ranging from is, are, am to has been, have been, had had and had been. I’d be honest here – they drove me mad.
But it was this tuition teacher that turned things around for me. She broke the syllabus down for me, made me write short compositions and correct my mistakes from there (my father, my mother, two brothers and I). She made me believe learning English can be fun and as long as I master it, it’d come to me as second nature. That the grammar hell is not going to take forever.
It was also because of her help that I ace my Maths time after time. She’d find good exercise chapters in assessment books, photocopy them for us, and go through them in class question by question. After which she would bring the syllabus back to our Maths Workbooks, go through them with us to make sure that we understood.
Sure, there are many people who helped me become who I am today. But she was the one who gave me the solid foundation in those two subjects.
Now, back to why I am writing this entry.
Recently I’ve been a little disappointed when I was left out of a wedding. You know, those people you call friends, talked about their weddings, you promised you would make it, they promised they would let you know, and then the next thing you know, photos of their red letter day is all over social media and walla~ you find out that you were not invited. Not even informed.
Maybe it’s a cultural norm for them but it meant a lot to me because I really regard my friends as friends. I’m not into the whole grading of friends like, hi-bye, fake-hi, good-but-not-that-good, okay-only, best-friends-but, ultimate-best-friends kind of thing.
So yes, I was feeling down from being left out.
Then I realized how silly I was.
I’m extremely grateful to that teacher, but even I’ve left her out of my life for what? 10 plus years?
We are not perfect and sometimes we have to disappoint people in our lives. Or rather, people who are in our lives, but we may have overlooked.
So there’s no point brooding over the matter. If I didn’t matter, then there was no value to the friendship. No point brooding. If I was just forgotten, then maybe we’d have a chance to meet up and reconnect again in the future. No point brooding.
Life is too short for meaningless relationships, business and people. If it is meant to be, it would be. That’s how I’d focus in my life from this point on – for those who matter.