Woke to a message from my sis-in-law –
What perfect timing, as my bestie took leave from work today!
So we met later that morning for brunch at Ichiban Sushi, while keeping our Pokemon Go apps open, stationed in the middle of 4 pokestops. (smirks)
Later at night…
Had a serious discussion with my mum about life, friendships and the future. It’s not the first time she had expressed concern about my life after their departure – she’s worried about how I’m going to be living alone, with no one’s companionship, with no anticipation of anyone’s return every day. She talked to me about making more friends.
But the thing is, I’m literally shit scared of having more friends. Sure, I have friends but I prefer to have a small and close circle of friends. For those in my closest circle, I really care about what’s going on in their lives. I used to be the selfish teenager who only wanted to confide in others, but have no interest in someone else’s life, interest and problems.
That gradually changed when I found friends who stayed by my side all these years, friends who actually have something in common with me. People who click.
That being said, whenever I widen my social circle, I found it hard to be just as concerned to MORE people. Sure, it’s fun when we meet, but it’s so much more stressful too. I’m also not a trusting person who needs a break from being with people so… Staying wary can be so exhausting at times.
Here’s what I told my mum –
There are many friends I keep in touch with, but that doesn’t mean I have to be meeting them every other day. As people said, you see who your real friends are in times of need, so ultimately, in times of need, you don’t really need a huge bunch of people around you, do you? When you’re upset, there would only be a small group of people who come to your mind, whom you feel comfortable confiding in. So why waste so much time doing useless socializing?
I have respect for people who have 500 friends, 1000 friends on Facebook because it’s how they live, it’s what they do. But that’s not me, just like how I don’t party, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink. It makes me quirky, but that doesn’t mean I’m abnormal. I’m comfortable with this quirk of mine!
There’s another perk of having a small and close group of friends. When someone outside your circle contacts you unexpectedly, you really appreciate their initiative and it’s much easier to spend quality time with them, making real conversations. I think it creates quality relationships, where you may not talk often but when you do, time and thought are invested. 🙂
If you’re one of those people who have a small group of friends, don’t ever doubt yourself! You’re not odd, not anti-social (a term so abused among teenagers). YOU’RE NORMAL. Embrace it! Think of it as… A parent with 3 kids, fostering much stronger bonds that last, than a bus captain who meet countless people at work. 😉